Why I Stopped Being the ‘Nice’ Girl at Work

For years, I thought being nice was the key to getting ahead at work. But being “nice” often left me overworked, under-appreciated, and overlooked. Here’s how I learned to balance kindness with boundaries—and how you can, too.

For years, I thought being "nice" was the golden ticket to success in the workplace. I believed that saying yes to every request, keeping the peace at all costs, and avoiding conflict would make me a star employee—someone everyone wanted on their team. But over time, I realized that being "nice" often left me overworked, underappreciated, and, frankly, invisible.

There’s nothing wrong with being kind, but being "nice" in the corporate world often means being a people-pleaser who struggles to set boundaries. I learned this the hard way. My turning point came when I found myself staying late every night to finish tasks that weren’t even mine, all while my colleagues left on time. I was too "nice" to push back. My breaking point came when I was passed over for a project I was more than qualified for because I wasn’t seen as a "leader." That stung. And it forced me to reevaluate everything.

I started practicing something new: being kind but firm. I learned to say no without guilt and to advocate for my ideas confidently. I stopped apologizing unnecessarily ("Sorry to bother you...") and started framing my contributions as valuable and necessary. And guess what? People respected me more for it.

Kindness doesn’t mean shrinking yourself to make others comfortable. It’s about showing respect to others while maintaining respect for yourself. If you’re still stuck in "nice girl" mode, it’s time to reclaim your voice. My Corporate Survival Guide dives deeper into this—with scripts and strategies to help you step into your power. Check it out here if this resonates with you.